Vapidity Box: ART IN BLOOM


If only the USB connection to my Iphone worked, I would show everyone the reason why I want to burn the recent bunch of vapid and senseless sculptures labelled “intellectual” littering the front of the Australian Museum and the adjoining Cafe Caffissimo that also links towards the pop-culture/Andy Warhol exhibit called Art in Bloom, which according to my artist and painter friend T___ is gaining attention from the most clueless of people and people over sixty. But these sculptures however, take the cake; they’re basically just boxes of different heights, sizes and positions done up in what I call Gift Wrap Art: artwork or patterns destined for something more mundane, like plates and of course, giftwrap. Like he says, it’s only intellectual bullshit, since everyone can make up these kinds of things in a snap, including a child and paste all kinds of “symbolisms” and “meanings” over them after everything is done. Talk about lying minus the flaming pants (frankly, I’d like the smell of burning flesh, but go figure) covering every arse of the exhibit. Here’s the thing; last time I checked, artwork took several hours or even monthsto finish compared to today’s Bullshit Factory and their crappy churn-outs and had symbolism laden in the artwork without them figuring it out later. Okay, boys and girls! Scroll down to the section marked “Material Gesture”  You’ll see this following caption after the piece:

Material Gesture explores the fundamental roles of line and light in the physical creation of art.  The material presence, whether of painting, sculpture or drawing, is the key component or essence of the work.

Light, actual or representational, is often central to a work of art’s content. It can create perceptual effects or convey symbolic meanings, such as purity and harmony, or evoke natural forms, ceremonial markings and emblems.

Line is also an essential component of art and can be used as a conceptual and/or formal tool. Line can record the artist’s hand gestures and mark-making, or construct a systematic ordering of space and perception.

But did anyone notice what was wrong with the artwork? Anyone? Firstly kiddies, the “piece of art” is frankly, only a sodding bicycle on its stand fixated on a white podium of it’s own, as if the guy had no ideas of his own and decided to duck down to the Op-Shop (Vinnies, Good Sammy’s, Whatever You Have At Your Country That Qualifies) and get an old bike and declare it as his piece (Ala R. Mutt) with nothing but a black texta at the last minute before the clueless, trend-zombies with their IPhones rocked up, just to exchange vapid comments, sip champagne and “dress up” to show how “cultured” they are, when in reality, the artists over here are just as bad as the crowds they attract, since none of them know jack-shit about actual artwork. No wonder our statues only attract the tourists because the rest of them (Aussies, not the tourists) suck so bad at producing something with meaning without having to cook up so many lies. Australia, you have failed the real budding artists of your country, shame on you!

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