Pieces, Flaws and Ashes: LEFTFIELD

Danger, in every corner.
I have become pure water.
I can identify.
I close my eyes.
I wear my sword at my side

Cleanse me.
Deep in the fire.
I have become pure water.
I wear my sword at my side

I have become pure water.
I have become pure water.
Swords, by Leftfield

Firstly, let me say this; I was a fool for writing this article since it’s obvious that no one like this person deserves such praise from me after what I’ve been through, including the rather sociopathic aftershocks involving a threatened restraining order against me because I simply couldn’t gain a hold of this person by way of contact leaving me no choice but to see this person in person to resolve a few issues and gather my things before moving on simply because this persons “ways” of communication with me happen to suck eggs and it is obvious that this being would throw me away like trash, or a decided abortion per se. It first started as something that could’ve been easily resolved as a scheduling problem, but no, it went on like an unstoppable forest fire, leaving this “loving” sap to figure out if there was still any feelings left. I remember what was said at me thanks to the fight. Bits of it went like this:

…you are fucking shallow. You seem to be incapable of change, I’ve counted the times you complained like the fingers of a butcher’s left hand

…you would then turn around and call that “shoving beliefs down your throat”…

Shallow? Excuse me? Say again? Incapable of change? No, this person here seems to be incapable of notifying others of what was going on and leaving others that are semi-attached in the dark about a lot of things. Do you call your house mates and those around you friends? Because the last time I checked, said person bossed them around and made decisions for them like the CEO from Hell armed with a P.A system. They aren’t your friends, they’re your minions. Think about it. The saddest thing about it was; I fell in love with this monster, thinking that the same feelings would be returned in kind and gave chances (which I did, repeatedly.) so that the ravaged links between us as people and lovers could and then can be salvaged. No, it crumbled within half a week. If you can get into a relationship and then turn around and say “I’m not ready because… (insert uber pathetic reason here to do with said twat’s past or other.)” Then, why did said person start the relationship with me in the first place? This ultimately annoys me when it comes to people and love; refusing to stand back and ask if a person is ready for such possibly lasting commitments until later. I cannot explain how annoying it is enough. Reconstructing myself to a semblance of my normal life before this is slowly taking shape, since I remember R__ saying; “That it is I___’s problem when it comes to change, not yours.” Or something to that effect, because I do have the strength to change myself, but it simply takes time, which is something that we never really had together as people. Well anyway, that leaves me with only this to say: someday, I hope that you will grow up and wake up and realize that no one else will take both your hand and heart because of your impossibly high standards when it comes to people being your friends or even lovers and plus, no one will go near you because of how destructive you are to others in the end. By the way, you could’ve asked me to leave your place nicely instead of threatening me with the said restraining order, you deranged, anti-social fiend. Try to be nice; use the word please. Like your dearest Mumsy told you to.

  1. June 7th, 2008
  2. August 6th, 2008

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