Thin Lines: AUSTRALIA DAY

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Samuel Johnson, quoted in Boswell’s Life of Johnson
English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 – 1784)

Australia as far as the world and historians know is mostly a land where Hell can’t even compare to in terms of distance between other countries and continents, weather, lack of water (and increasing restrictions, even if the Governmental buildings blatantly ignore this.), interesting strange plants and animals (including the discovery years ago of a “hellish kangaroo” or other.) and of course Australian English, which is like a foreign language without their own alphabet. Okay, that’s enough. I was unfortunately cursed (along with several others) to be the one at the work on this unbelievably hot day where we were charged with the operation of serving customers, which included the Australia Day cast of Yobbos, Randoms, Racists in Denial, “Patriots”, Ladies Who Do Not Know How To Look Good In A Singlet/Tank Top (Or Even Bathers), Wanderers, Riot-Starters, Alco & Energy Drink-Smugglers, Baby Carriers, Men With No Fashion Sense Or Good Looks and Indecisive Idiots/Losers. Now, on this year’s Australia Day, it was going to be a “multicultural theme” (hence the advert done by resident known Asian Ahn Do, from Thank God You’re Here.), but being the skeptic that I am and knowing from experience that the majority of Australia is racist, imperialist, knuckle-headed and in denial of everything, including the lack of intelligence, I wondered how could they pull it all off, with the Alco being in short supply, which “encouraged” everybody to bring water instead. During the time we were forced to deal with two different crowds but no bigger than the first bunch, just like dealing with their descendants, the convicts from England, of which I remember studying years ago from what is considered the Social Science of History diluted, better known as S.O.S.E or Social Studies. But this was like a line of concert-goers with the instant impatience stemming from the grow-slow live-fast of the Modern Age, where everything must be done now in terms of jobs, technology and (most importantly) food. Think of it as a group of monkeys, Neanderthals and other humanoid animals (sloths included) folding their arms in synch, with the same disgruntled looks upon their faces after sucking too much Airheads, melting very slowly like the drifting of Tectonic Plates. Some over-impatient groups even tried to start their own brand of a riot by shouting nonsensical things with occasional swears, getting everyone to move faster and forcing me to raise my voice, earning praise thanks to our new leader, T___ after many of them just stood, not knowing right from left and a turn from a straight line. Ah well, there goes the hardiness of the convicts slipping away like grains of sand, after years of learning how to survive in this harsh land where nothing really grows and where the desert heat continues to stir.

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