Humanity Trait: EVOLUTION
In light of the recent articles to do with Maple Syrup and the idiotic Doctor Curry, I thought it as my turn to do something in the steads of these two people. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… Evolution!
Now, we all know about the modern theory of evolution as being that we have all evolved from a warm, funny-looking pool of steaming slime with a one-called mind of it’s own and went from what looked like a pile of bubbling baby vomit to worms, fish, reptiles, little fuzzy monkeys with rabies (or any other type of disease) and finally, the Modern Human.
But wait! If there was already a plausible theory for why we are like this, then why are there religions and theories like Scientology, a teapot and Pastafarianism? Simple, here are the reasons why:
1. Because humans like to be classified in more ways than one: whether it is smart, stupid, tall, fat, pompous or overly destructive, we know we can’t help but love this attention and feel superior compared to any living being in the animal kingdom, since most of us deny even being animals.
2. We like to imagine how fucked up our creator(s) is, therefore letting us believe anything to the point of being mentality ill and yet still functioning, like this guy was.
3. Religions and insanity go hand in hand, so that’s why we create more! Claiming that we were descended from the souls of aliens or made by a living plateful of food (no, that’s how we got worms!) But then again, a Mission From God is a good reason to not go to work. Ever.
4. look at something plausible and then consider that a Certain Person thought we evolved from molluscs, among other things. I know, it doesn’t explain why we can’t or can get the body we want in the far future, but maybe a swim bladder and chemicals had to do with it.
This all goes to show that even a sea creature of the modern day can tell you all that we are screwed over as a species in the name of “advancement”, we might end up like these three people. Ah well, we will just turn around in the future and say, “Didn’t we all have a good run while it lasted?”