Humanity Trait: EVOLUTION

In light of the recent articles to do with Maple Syrup and the idiotic Doctor Curry, I thought it as my turn to do something in the steads of these two people. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… Evolution!

Now, we all know about the modern theory of evolution as being that we have all evolved from a warm, funny-looking pool of steaming slime with a one-called mind of it’s own and went from what looked like a pile of bubbling baby vomit to worms, fish, reptiles, little fuzzy monkeys with rabies (or any other type of disease) and finally, the Modern Human.

But wait! If there was already a plausible theory for why we are like this, then why are there religions and theories like Scientology, a teapot and Pastafarianism? Simple, here are the reasons why:

1. Because humans like to be classified in more ways than one: whether it is smart, stupid, tall, fat, pompous or overly destructive, we know we can’t help but love this attention and feel superior compared to any living being in the animal kingdom, since most of us deny even being animals.

2. We like to imagine how fucked up our creator(s) is, therefore letting us believe anything to the point of being mentality ill and yet still functioning, like this guy was.

3. Religions and insanity go hand in hand, so that’s why we create more! Claiming that we were descended from the souls of aliens or made by a living plateful of food (no, that’s how we got worms!) But then again, a Mission From God is a good reason to not go to work. Ever.

4. look at something plausible and then consider that a Certain Person thought we evolved from molluscs, among other things. I know, it doesn’t explain why we can’t or can get the body we want in the far future, but maybe a swim bladder and chemicals had to do with it.

This all goes to show that even a sea creature of the modern day can tell you all that we are screwed over as a species in the name of “advancement”, we might end up like these three people. Ah well, we will just turn around in the future and say, “Didn’t we all have a good run while it lasted?”

    • WendySkeleton
    • November 11th, 2007

    I don’t understand why people always want to be classified. I don’t like to be classified, but what I am doing now and how I am living now, it could be classified into something.

    I don’t really deny being an animal. In fact, I would love to be an animal. They seem to have no racism, homophobia or sexism. Why can’t we live like that?!

    Have you read The Delusion of God? I think it’s called that, but I’ve seen it in bookshops and it talks about how religion creates the world’s problems. Not all problems, I think, but some of the major problems today.

  1. The God Delusion? No, but true; religion is causing major problems for this day and age. Either it’s something that’s hinted or something misquoted that seems to get everyone riled up.

    • WendySkeleton
    • November 11th, 2007

    Yeah that’s the one. Bit of a shame that religion causes such an effect.

  2. True. They haven’t even targeted Buddhism on this scale yet. Or a Parody Religion, like those shown above.

    • romi41
    • November 12th, 2007

    Out of those “three people”, I definitely don’t want to look like the second one, but maybe the first is not so bad…. 😉

    • dani450
    • November 12th, 2007

    wendy skeleton’s a bit delusional, No animal racism? Maybe not in their own species (maybe not0 i.e. cat and dog. No homophobia? They DO fear Man. Do they fear homosexuals? Well, they, like us, revert to it when they’re deprived f female companionship – or are young and easily confused. Homosexual (or same sex acts0 are not exclusive to the human animal. I’ve had both “confused” male and female dogs who tried to copulate. Animals are sexists. I have yet to see a doe leading a herd of bucks.

    • dani450
    • November 12th, 2007

    It’s not the fault of religion, but our territorial sense of property. My God’s better than yours, and don’t step on my holy land you vermin> That attitude is what causes us to wage foolish unnecessary wars. Why, we even fight (stupidly so) to keep a line in our Pledge of Allegiance…. under God… so ignorant! GOD is NOT His NAME, it’s His title – like Doctor. On Christianity and Judaism His NAME is YAHWEH (Jehovah for English speaking people)> ALLAH for Muslims (did yu ever notice how closely they sound?). Why don’t we say, “One Nation under ….insert name here…. and just stop bickering.

  3. Okay, Dani.
    One: this article is primarily for entertainment purposes only, if I wanted it to be serious, I would’ve taken the initiative to post a warning beforehand so that idiots like you who should by now be able to spell proper and not use numbers don’t go overboard.

    Two: Thou shalt not spam, lest thou wisheth for thee wrathe of Sir Virgilius Sade to descendeth upon ye, in the style ofe thee olde schoole. (But if you wish for me, the Administrator to repair your foolhardy mistake, you could’ve raised a virtual hand and said, “Help here please!” instead of spouting “righteously fuelled” anger-drivel. Remember what I said to do with angry, overly-curvaceous Goths and whales?)

    Three: God is a name, just like everyone/everything else. It is not a title. I have never heard my J.W relatives (the really hardcore ones, at least) say that it was. But those other names like Jehovah, Yahweh, etcetera is just another name for God for people with a different religion, just like how mythologies of old had different names for their gods, like these deities of death here:

    Four: If stuff like this offends the living shit out of you, pack your bags and go. If it doesn’t, read, comment, put up and swallow. If you’re one of my company (see Blogroll), you are welcome to do otherwise and comment/rant at me.

  1. November 12th, 2007

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