Episode I: Mezzanine/Black Milk/Fragmented I

“What’s a matter?”

“Is something wrong?” Both Mantissa and myself poked into the quarters of Ed onboard the Zarathustra which was quite smelly and degenerated into a hovel overnight, with his bedsheets, normally unwrinkled, soaked with sweat. Panic sweat, fear sweat, the really noticeable smelling kind.

“No, no, it’s really nothing, really, really.” No. Something was wrong, I guess that Ed or Piter, whoever his name is dislikes admitting to things easily. Something is always wrong with the world these days, the skies look omnious and unhealthy, people are reporting to have seen nightmares of destruction and there have been sightings of a machine with a bird’s head for a face and woman holding chains, speaking in a monotone. I keep on telling people that when it comes to saving the world, we’re not made for it. For a bunch of omens, this isn’t good. Not good at all.

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  1. We all dislike admitting things, I think. Fragments. Splintered mirrorpieces of life. Snapshots, in fact. “I keep on telling” would sound better as “I keep telling”. Personal thing. Then, most things are, aren’t they?

    • Edseverripit
    • November 25th, 2006

    The “I keep on telling” sounds too laggy for me, so that’s why I used “I keep telling” 😛

  2. But you used “I keep on telling.” Which does sound laggy. A fullstop after “the world these days” would be good, too. And after “ominous and unhealthy.” Would make it into a list, which is better. Gives it a punch. “Bird’s head for a face” – you don’t need the “for a face” bit, either. Am I being picky? Sorry. Had a long day.

  3. Otherwise, I do like the imagery. Post-Apocalyptic mishmash with a side of Dreamworld.

    • Edseverripit
    • November 30th, 2006

    Dreamworld? Oh wait, I’ll wiki it 😛

  4. Wiki away. I didn’t mean it as a reference. I meant – YOUR dreamworld. A dreamworld. Not from anywhere particular.

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